CHARLIE’S STORY


“So we’re all out drinkin’, drivin’ around, and Petey gets sick. So no one wants to stop. We’re partyin’, havin’ a good time, and this is gonna fuck everything up. So Sal yells back at Petey to shut up. In the meantime, Petey’s not gonna shut up, because he’s sick, and he wants ta get out.”

“So what’d you guys do?”

“Well shut up, and I’ll tell ya.”

“Why you gotta tell me to shut up?”

“‘Cause I wanna finish the story.”

“You’re just tellin’ me to shut up, because Sal told Petey to shut up in the story.”

“Christ. Will you just let me finish?”

“Alright. Go ahead. Tell your story.”

“So we’re goin’ by the diner, and Sal says to pull in, because Petey’s gonna puke, and he doesn’t want him to puke in the car, because he just Armoralled the seats.”

“He Armoralled the seats?”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?”

“I hate that shit. Makes you slide all over the fuckin’ place.”

“Will you just shut up.”

“Go ahead. Finish your story.”

“So we pull in the diner. Now it’s packed. There musta been some kind of party or somethin’. Everybody’s dressed up in suits, nice dresses. You know. Nice. Well here’s this little fuckin’ sixteen year old drunken asshole, stinkin’ of fuckin’ Scotch, pushin’ his way through all these people, tryin’ to get to the bathroom.”

“I can imagine. Fuckin’ asshole.”

“So he gets to the bathroom, but you know the Thruway diner, they only got one toilet, and somebody’s on it.”

“Holy shit. So what happened?”

“Yeah, shit’s the right word.”

“So he’s holdin’ it, and holdin’ it. Finally the guy comes outa the shitter, and Petey busts in like a maniac. Now he’s so fucked up, he doesn’t know whether to shit first or puke.”

“So what happened?”

“Listen ta this shit. He pulls his pants down, sits on the bowl, and while he’s takin’ a shit, he pukes into his pants.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes. Can you picture that shit? Now he’s gotta pull his pukey pants up and walk back out through all these nice people.”

“Oh shit.”

“You shoulda seen the looks on their faces. He fuckin’ stunk. Oh man.”

“And you let him back in the car?”

“Fuck no. We made ‘im walk home.”

“That’s too funny.”

“Bet your ass.”

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About ldlagarino

I'm a somewhat retired tractor-trailer driver who loves the movies and always loved to write. I have time now. No excuses. I suppose it's only natural for me to lean toward screenwriting.
This entry was posted in New York, The Mob and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to CHARLIE’S STORY

  1. JoAnn Santoro says:

    Funny Larry I could just picture that really happening in,the Thruway Diner! Thumbs up!

    Like

  2. Anonymous says:

    I hope this is just a story, I’d hate to think it really happened. However, I suppose that it could have happened and god help whose ever car it was if it was true.

    Like

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